Me Too!
I've lost track of when I last saw the sun? Another dull, dreary day here At Home... for some maybe this mild weather in January is a blessing - for me the overcast, drizzle, and dampness is a breeding ground for sadness! Give me a clear, bright, cold morning any day over this!
So as I whine about the weather, and the affect it's having not only on my mood, but a lot of people I speak with; I am grateful today for the Bell 'Let's Talk' campaign for mental illness!
Great lead in right?
There is so much confusion about mental illness; and so many people are afraid to even mention those bad days - regardless of whether you are diagnosed with a mental illness, or just dealing with more than your share this week, month, year... whatever! Opening up and running the risk of 'that label'; or losing your 'place' in the people's minds you share with, keeps so many of us silent!
I have struggled with my own personal 'lows'; mostly when I have allowed myself to get caught up in things that, in all fairness were out of my control - but the mental game I play of; if I would have done this, or tried that; it may have gone a better way, drags me to some pretty dark places!
What I know without question, or hesitation, is that when I am feeling low the last person I want to be left with is myself! I need to talk to people, bounce ideas around, be open to other perspectives; and hear something other than the bullshit story I tell myself about not being good enough!
The difficult part of course is recognizing that you are in that place of needing help... I mean lets face it, we have convinced ourselves we aren't worthy - how in that place; do we find the courage to start a conversation with someone who we believe has it all together? How do we risk exposing ourselves?
This is where I believe everyone needs to step up and be accountable, and responsible for the lives of the people who share their journey! We need to check in; really check in, not a facebook like; a genuine 'hey, how's it going?' invitation to chat! We all get so caught up in the bubble of our lives, of course we are busy, we are trying to make ends meet, get through the dullness of January, and a million other things that challenge us everyday... but we aren't alone!
We aren't alone - and whether you choose to accept it or not; we aren't all that different either! We do things differently, we respond differently, but we are all drawing from the same pool of emotions and while it's all unique to the individual, our most helpful and potentially life saving tool is 'empathy'!
Empathy: noun
Listening to someone in a way that promotes understanding; rather than a good response, is the first step! Listening is how we learn; if you want to know more about someone, listen to them! Responding with empathy, validating how they are feeling by sharing your own similar feelings, reminds them of the one thing they may have lost sight of ... they are not alone!
So as I whine about the weather, and the affect it's having not only on my mood, but a lot of people I speak with; I am grateful today for the Bell 'Let's Talk' campaign for mental illness!
Great lead in right?
There is so much confusion about mental illness; and so many people are afraid to even mention those bad days - regardless of whether you are diagnosed with a mental illness, or just dealing with more than your share this week, month, year... whatever! Opening up and running the risk of 'that label'; or losing your 'place' in the people's minds you share with, keeps so many of us silent!
I have struggled with my own personal 'lows'; mostly when I have allowed myself to get caught up in things that, in all fairness were out of my control - but the mental game I play of; if I would have done this, or tried that; it may have gone a better way, drags me to some pretty dark places!
What I know without question, or hesitation, is that when I am feeling low the last person I want to be left with is myself! I need to talk to people, bounce ideas around, be open to other perspectives; and hear something other than the bullshit story I tell myself about not being good enough!
The difficult part of course is recognizing that you are in that place of needing help... I mean lets face it, we have convinced ourselves we aren't worthy - how in that place; do we find the courage to start a conversation with someone who we believe has it all together? How do we risk exposing ourselves?
This is where I believe everyone needs to step up and be accountable, and responsible for the lives of the people who share their journey! We need to check in; really check in, not a facebook like; a genuine 'hey, how's it going?' invitation to chat! We all get so caught up in the bubble of our lives, of course we are busy, we are trying to make ends meet, get through the dullness of January, and a million other things that challenge us everyday... but we aren't alone!
We aren't alone - and whether you choose to accept it or not; we aren't all that different either! We do things differently, we respond differently, but we are all drawing from the same pool of emotions and while it's all unique to the individual, our most helpful and potentially life saving tool is 'empathy'!
Empathy: noun
the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
Empathy is very different that sympathy; when we are empathetic we are relating to each other from a place of shared (even though they are different) experiences as an equal; sympathy on the other hand, feeling sorry for someone, can be interpreted in a way that leaves the recipient feeling even less worthy. Regardless of what emotion a person is struggling with there is little doubt that you have, at one time or another, experienced it too... share that; instead of an "oh man that sucks! I feel for you" (which leads the person to believe you have no idea what they are feeling, and isolates them further); share a "ME TOO" (which lets them know that what they are feeling is something you have felt too)!
Listening to someone in a way that promotes understanding; rather than a good response, is the first step! Listening is how we learn; if you want to know more about someone, listen to them! Responding with empathy, validating how they are feeling by sharing your own similar feelings, reminds them of the one thing they may have lost sight of ... they are not alone!
It seems so simple right?
The stumbling block for many of us is that empathy comes at the expense of vulnerability! To admit that we've been there, or felt that, opens our heart and leaves us vulnerable! I guarantee that for every time I have been hurt being vulnerable; there are dozens of times that I have been helpful... it's worth the risk! And wouldn't the world be a better place for everyone if we were all coming from an open, authentic, imperfection embracing, nonjudgmental, and empathetic place?
So today I am texting like a crazy person to help raise funds for this program, and putting this blog out there; with a whole hearted "METOO"! xo
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