Decision Making ... 1, 2, 3!
Decide ... from the Latin word 'decido' meaning, 'to cut off'.
When we make a decision we essentially cut off the other options. The whole concept of 'cutting off' is our first stumbling block - right? But what if you make the wrong choice?
Have you ever agonized over something, weighing the pros and cons; suffered incredible emotional turmoil over what you might gain versus what you might lose? It's the worst kind of hell! FOMO phobia at it's most dangerous, looms over your entire life ... until you 'decide'!
One of the most amazing things when you finally decide, when you commit to 'this' instead of 'that'; everything just kind of falls into place! Like the universe really does have your back! Suddenly you are moving forward at great speed; wondering why you spent a minute second guessing what you knew in your heart was the right choice all along.
That's the thing; ultimately we 'know' instinctively what to do, but we complicate it, distort it, attach irrational fears and emotions to it, until even our instincts aren't thinking clearly anymore!
I have experienced the power of decision making many times , digging deep on what I want, understanding what I need to do, and making careful calculated decisions. They aren't easy; they often demand a lot of soul searching, but in the end that all washes away in the flow of your life on a decided path!
So how do you stop this cycle?
How do you clean up your decision making?
Here are my top three tips ...
1. Don't make quick 'emotional' decisions!
This may sound counter intuitive to my comment above stating that we knew all along instinctively; but here's the thing - ya still gotta think the big ones through! Understanding the ramifications of your decision is key to transitioning with confidence and success ... not understanding sets you up to be potentially blindsided by reality!
No matter how 'right' something seems instinctively, you absolutely need to consider the actual process of living in that decision. We are emotional beings by nature, and it makes perfect sense that we make decisions to support our emotional well being; but are you making decisions from an 'emotionally well' place?
Decisions often need to be made in emotionally charged situations, not the day to day decisions of what to wear or what to have for lunch; the relationship, career and personal decisions that we are faced with.
The reality of being human is that many of us operate from a place of complacency, course correction happens when we get so uncomfortable that we are miserable! Miserable is a good indicator that you need to do some soul searching, you need to open up to some different options; and you have a decision to make when you get there!
Decisions should never be a knee jerk reaction to emotional turmoil, they are an opportunity to grow and should be considered as such. Some of the best health transformations are made by people facing illness; when you're told you have heart disease the decision to quit smoking or improve your diet becomes infinitely easier!
2. You always have a choice!
So many times I have heard, "I didn't have a choice'; the truth is that you always have a choice - the reality is your options may not be ones you like, or want; sometimes all the options just plain suck!
These are the worst decisions to make; they absolutely require the most consideration! On so many occasions I have 'spared' someone else and took the hit myself; seems like the noble thing to do right? Being a martyr can occasionally be a 'feel good' but repeated decision making of this nature is going to leave you feeling drained and resentful!
There is a huge shift happening towards doing what is right for you and letting the world adjust … and I whole heartedly support this shift … with heavy doses of responsibility!
As a parent I couldn't run away and leave my small children to fend for themselves while I took a hike to clear my head; but I could get a sitter, or take them with me! Sure we need to take care of ourselves; but we also need to honour the choices that brought us where we are today.
There are always choices … if you don't see them, or don't like what you see, keep digging, keep looking at the big picture and envisioning living with whatever decision you ultimately make!
A nugget here as you ponder choices; consider what choice lights you up, gets you excited or at the very least feels the least damaging and lean on it for awhile! Ultimately our choices should move us forward and feel right … if not right now, then with some effort! The decision is just step one, nothing works unless you do!
3. Get behind the Gains!
The struggles in decision making are more often then not based in the fear of what we stand to lose! Good that you are considering all of that, but once the decision is made - let it go! You've done your due diligence, made a choice that's right for you, and now you need to back it up, do the work and get behind the gains that lead you to make it!
Inevitably by the time I finally make a decision I have dissected it from every conceivable angle; the nick name 'worst case scenario Jo' has actually served me well in the decision making forum! You see my tendency to envision the worst that could happen helps me determine two things - can I deal with the worst case? and how will I live with, get out of the worst case?
Once I have assessed that I can live with failing miserably and know that I can pick up the pieces the only thing left to focus on is the gains! The best case scenario is what I am aiming, for and getting behind that; is the surest way to ensure success!
The reality is that change is the only true constant, permanence is only applicable to a few decisions you will make in your life (a very few); if your decision doesn't suit you - make another one that will help you course correct!
What I know for sure - decisions can be tough, but when I slow down, know all my options and their worst case scenarios; I can find a path that lights me up, get behind the gains and find my own success … and so can you!
When we make a decision we essentially cut off the other options. The whole concept of 'cutting off' is our first stumbling block - right? But what if you make the wrong choice?
Have you ever agonized over something, weighing the pros and cons; suffered incredible emotional turmoil over what you might gain versus what you might lose? It's the worst kind of hell! FOMO phobia at it's most dangerous, looms over your entire life ... until you 'decide'!
One of the most amazing things when you finally decide, when you commit to 'this' instead of 'that'; everything just kind of falls into place! Like the universe really does have your back! Suddenly you are moving forward at great speed; wondering why you spent a minute second guessing what you knew in your heart was the right choice all along.
That's the thing; ultimately we 'know' instinctively what to do, but we complicate it, distort it, attach irrational fears and emotions to it, until even our instincts aren't thinking clearly anymore!
So how do you stop this cycle?
How do you clean up your decision making?
Here are my top three tips ...
1. Don't make quick 'emotional' decisions!
This may sound counter intuitive to my comment above stating that we knew all along instinctively; but here's the thing - ya still gotta think the big ones through! Understanding the ramifications of your decision is key to transitioning with confidence and success ... not understanding sets you up to be potentially blindsided by reality!
No matter how 'right' something seems instinctively, you absolutely need to consider the actual process of living in that decision. We are emotional beings by nature, and it makes perfect sense that we make decisions to support our emotional well being; but are you making decisions from an 'emotionally well' place?
Decisions often need to be made in emotionally charged situations, not the day to day decisions of what to wear or what to have for lunch; the relationship, career and personal decisions that we are faced with.
The reality of being human is that many of us operate from a place of complacency, course correction happens when we get so uncomfortable that we are miserable! Miserable is a good indicator that you need to do some soul searching, you need to open up to some different options; and you have a decision to make when you get there!
Decisions should never be a knee jerk reaction to emotional turmoil, they are an opportunity to grow and should be considered as such. Some of the best health transformations are made by people facing illness; when you're told you have heart disease the decision to quit smoking or improve your diet becomes infinitely easier!
2. You always have a choice!
So many times I have heard, "I didn't have a choice'; the truth is that you always have a choice - the reality is your options may not be ones you like, or want; sometimes all the options just plain suck!
These are the worst decisions to make; they absolutely require the most consideration! On so many occasions I have 'spared' someone else and took the hit myself; seems like the noble thing to do right? Being a martyr can occasionally be a 'feel good' but repeated decision making of this nature is going to leave you feeling drained and resentful!
There is a huge shift happening towards doing what is right for you and letting the world adjust … and I whole heartedly support this shift … with heavy doses of responsibility!
As a parent I couldn't run away and leave my small children to fend for themselves while I took a hike to clear my head; but I could get a sitter, or take them with me! Sure we need to take care of ourselves; but we also need to honour the choices that brought us where we are today.
There are always choices … if you don't see them, or don't like what you see, keep digging, keep looking at the big picture and envisioning living with whatever decision you ultimately make!
A nugget here as you ponder choices; consider what choice lights you up, gets you excited or at the very least feels the least damaging and lean on it for awhile! Ultimately our choices should move us forward and feel right … if not right now, then with some effort! The decision is just step one, nothing works unless you do!
3. Get behind the Gains!
The struggles in decision making are more often then not based in the fear of what we stand to lose! Good that you are considering all of that, but once the decision is made - let it go! You've done your due diligence, made a choice that's right for you, and now you need to back it up, do the work and get behind the gains that lead you to make it!
Inevitably by the time I finally make a decision I have dissected it from every conceivable angle; the nick name 'worst case scenario Jo' has actually served me well in the decision making forum! You see my tendency to envision the worst that could happen helps me determine two things - can I deal with the worst case? and how will I live with, get out of the worst case?
Once I have assessed that I can live with failing miserably and know that I can pick up the pieces the only thing left to focus on is the gains! The best case scenario is what I am aiming, for and getting behind that; is the surest way to ensure success!
The reality is that change is the only true constant, permanence is only applicable to a few decisions you will make in your life (a very few); if your decision doesn't suit you - make another one that will help you course correct!
What I know for sure - decisions can be tough, but when I slow down, know all my options and their worst case scenarios; I can find a path that lights me up, get behind the gains and find my own success … and so can you!
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