On taking it 'personally'...
Have you ever done something you thought was so good; and gotten a really bad reaction from someone?
Questioned how you could have been so thoroughly misunderstood in your best intention?
Gotten angry maybe?
Lashed back with the same righteous indignation they just smacked you down with?
Or maybe you were the 'call out' on someone else's behaviour?
We've all been there; it happens to the best of us!
I can remember my husband saying to me 'You can't take it personally!' when I would discuss feeling badly about clients in studio; clients who left, or weren't doing what my programs offered but blaming me for their lack of results; and ya I took it personally - um, hello - 'personal trainer'? It's got 'personal' right there in the damn job description!
My assumption (and we all know how assumptions work!) was that because I had done the work of going through the trainings, because I had taken the initiative to create and research my programs, because I could offer them success stories of my other clients who used the programs; there was clearly something wrong with them for not finding their desired results under my care... right?
Hell NO …
The fact of the matter is we are all weaving our own little web everyday, living out our physical, emotional and spiritual journey; we bump into each other, get connected, or tangled in each others stuff and no, it isn't personal - the perspective shift here is, it's all happening 'for us'; not 'to us'!
When we seek understanding, when we let ourselves just be; and offer everyone around us the same opportunity; our need to judge, or blame, or be 'right' (whatever that actually means!) is removed; not only are we happier and healthier, we are in a much better place to share our journey, and everything that entails!
This theory I have about people taking what they need and leaving the rest behind guides me; there are parts of my programs that might resonate heavily with you and benefit you in your life; but there are bound to be parts that just don't fit for you … and that is perfectly okay! Take what you need.
What I have come to terms with in my teachings is that my need to teach and share, is for me; something that I benefit from on a personal level is helping people achieve their own version of wellness! If somewhere in what I am doing my community benefits that is a huge bonus! I believe that everyone has things to share, each of us have unique experiences and perspectives in our lives and there is always something to learn from each other - even if it's what not to do!
When we are feeling 'triggered' by someone's reaction; rather than assume they are ungrateful, malicious, or out to get us … let's consider our why!
Why am I feeling triggered here?
How another person is feeling is their issue; how it's making you feel is your issue … how you're feeling offers you a whole lot of clues to help you work on understanding your issue! In my personal experience finding understanding for yourself will open you up to better understanding the issues of the people tangled in your web!
What I have learned through my career path (more so through raising my family) is that the ego assumes that everything is personal, the ego doesn't seek understanding (because it knows everything!)! To seek understanding is to shift inward and experience life as it is actually happening rather than how we perceive it, in that moment!
In any given moment I may respond to a comment a hundred different ways; when I am living mindfully and am truly in those moments, I can seek understanding, of my own triggers; and the behaviour of those around me!
Judgement, blame and assumptions are the opposite of understanding; they are the difference between taking things personally, and growing personal awareness!
Take a moment to consider how those things feel in your body; how you feel when you are passing judgement or looking for someone to blame … sit with that …. now consider how you feel when you discover something new and meaningful about yourself … I can literally feel my jaw clench and anger rise when I look for judgement; and my body soften and a smile whisper when I think about personal awareness!
Armed with how these things make you feel, you can decide how you want to proceed … I seek understanding of myself and the world around me; mindfully - in the moment, on purpose and without judgement <3
For best results add gratitude!
Questioned how you could have been so thoroughly misunderstood in your best intention?
Gotten angry maybe?
Lashed back with the same righteous indignation they just smacked you down with?
Or maybe you were the 'call out' on someone else's behaviour?
We've all been there; it happens to the best of us!
I can remember my husband saying to me 'You can't take it personally!' when I would discuss feeling badly about clients in studio; clients who left, or weren't doing what my programs offered but blaming me for their lack of results; and ya I took it personally - um, hello - 'personal trainer'? It's got 'personal' right there in the damn job description!
My assumption (and we all know how assumptions work!) was that because I had done the work of going through the trainings, because I had taken the initiative to create and research my programs, because I could offer them success stories of my other clients who used the programs; there was clearly something wrong with them for not finding their desired results under my care... right?
Hell NO …
When we seek understanding, when we let ourselves just be; and offer everyone around us the same opportunity; our need to judge, or blame, or be 'right' (whatever that actually means!) is removed; not only are we happier and healthier, we are in a much better place to share our journey, and everything that entails!
This theory I have about people taking what they need and leaving the rest behind guides me; there are parts of my programs that might resonate heavily with you and benefit you in your life; but there are bound to be parts that just don't fit for you … and that is perfectly okay! Take what you need.
What I have come to terms with in my teachings is that my need to teach and share, is for me; something that I benefit from on a personal level is helping people achieve their own version of wellness! If somewhere in what I am doing my community benefits that is a huge bonus! I believe that everyone has things to share, each of us have unique experiences and perspectives in our lives and there is always something to learn from each other - even if it's what not to do!
When we are feeling 'triggered' by someone's reaction; rather than assume they are ungrateful, malicious, or out to get us … let's consider our why!
Why am I feeling triggered here?
How another person is feeling is their issue; how it's making you feel is your issue … how you're feeling offers you a whole lot of clues to help you work on understanding your issue! In my personal experience finding understanding for yourself will open you up to better understanding the issues of the people tangled in your web!
What I have learned through my career path (more so through raising my family) is that the ego assumes that everything is personal, the ego doesn't seek understanding (because it knows everything!)! To seek understanding is to shift inward and experience life as it is actually happening rather than how we perceive it, in that moment!
In any given moment I may respond to a comment a hundred different ways; when I am living mindfully and am truly in those moments, I can seek understanding, of my own triggers; and the behaviour of those around me!
Judgement, blame and assumptions are the opposite of understanding; they are the difference between taking things personally, and growing personal awareness!
Take a moment to consider how those things feel in your body; how you feel when you are passing judgement or looking for someone to blame … sit with that …. now consider how you feel when you discover something new and meaningful about yourself … I can literally feel my jaw clench and anger rise when I look for judgement; and my body soften and a smile whisper when I think about personal awareness!
Armed with how these things make you feel, you can decide how you want to proceed … I seek understanding of myself and the world around me; mindfully - in the moment, on purpose and without judgement <3
For best results add gratitude!
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