Embracing What you Don't Know ...

You don’t know, what you don’t know.

Sit with that for a minute.

A few weeks ago, someone wrote that as part of a call for people to be more open, less fearful of what is different, or expands beyond what they personally ‘know’ … and I have been tossing it around mentally for a few weeks!

Challenging myself whenever I felt defensive about ‘my’ way of thinking, or less than receptive about someone else’s way of thinking … and I firmly believe there is much to be found in those few words!

Intellect has long been celebrated as a measure of success, the more we know the better! 

In that spirit of intellect success, it stands to reason that a lot of people would find saying ‘I don’t know’ a difficult admission; further more the admission may call for them to defend what they know as the better version of knowledge … resulting most often in conflict!

The words were cast after a clash of opinions, neither side was right or wrong … just different - based on their personal perceptions of the situation.  

It doesn’t matter if it’s religion, or politics, or teaching methods, or nutritional choices, or anything else for that matter – we all know what we know – right?

So, what about what we don’t know?

One thing I have always been first and foremost, is a student of life … I want to learn, I take courses, attend workshops, openly experiment with my creativity and my lifestyle, I am always up for discussion, and spend a great deal of my time interacting with people through conversations … I know what I know; for sure … but I am way more curious about what I don’t know!

On a business level the health and wellness platform has taught me well that in no way shape or form do you ever know everything, and even if for a split second you did; the rules change on a dime every time a new study shares its findings, or a new creative comes up with a new fitness craze!  Beyond that evolution; no two people are the same either; so, what you know works for one client, may not work for anyone else!

Trainers and coaches are walking a slippery slope when they shut down to what they don’t know!  I keep seeking, I keep learning and by being open to what people I respect, know; I have the opportunity to expand, or integrate new information into my trainings – worst case I know how what I didn’t know stacks up to what I know – offering me a well rounded argument for my philosophies! 

Regardless of your profession, I believe every person is letting themselves down if they aren’t open to what they don’t know!

What causes us to shut down to what we don’t know?

For me I will admit the messenger is a real important factor; I’m sure you have all heard a piece of wellness information over and over; one day the right person says it, and boom you are all over it like it’s the best thing ever!  Why didn’t you connect with the information from all the other sources?  The answers to that question are as varied as all of us; honestly, I believe most of us get the message when we are ready to receive it, but a respectful connection with the messenger is a big door opener to wanting to know what we don’t know!

In my personal experiment over the last couple of weeks I have challenged myself to be more open, even when the messenger isn’t resonating with me … if I am being honest here I discovered that I have been battling my own ego when I am struggling with being open to what I don’t know!  When my ego is leading my behaviour my openness to ‘different’ constricts and becomes defensive, dismissive or critical!  In contrast when my ego takes a back seat those reactions are replaced by curiosity, attentiveness, and the willingness to learn!

In an ego reaction I either feel I am further along than someone else’s information, or I feel threatened by the other person being further along than me – either way I am the loser in the student game when I play that way!

Regardless of where the information is coming from; if we don’t at least offer ourselves the opportunity to consider it, we lose!

It’s always tough when our ego is feeling all vulnerable and threatened; we do strange things when that happens and one of those things is shutting down!  Another is lashing out in defense, or dismissing opportunities in fear they might contradict, or threaten what we have been doing, we anchor into what we know and lose the opportunity to sail into more!

New doesn’t always have to mean change; that’s another big stumbling block for many of us – change! 

Having to change what we do, or shift our perspective is work; and our brain is looking for ease; not work!  There are lots of new learning experiences that I take on that result in very little change in my life, they either don’t resonate with me, or in some cases they simply enhance what I am already doing … bonus – now I know and I didn’t have to change a thing!

Moving forward I intend to keep challenging my self, keep questioning resistance and defensiveness when it happens, and keep myself open to what I don’t know … this will be a heightened awareness approach for me and one I intend to build into the self awareness practices of my clients!

Learning is growth, sometimes that growth involves change, sometimes it’s expansive, sometimes it’s nothing more than information, sometimes its downright painful, but we should always be open to it!