3 Steps to challenging fear and getting unstuck!
I'm two days out from our annual trip south for my husbands hockey tournament - yes it seems a little redundant for Canadians to lug hockey bags to Tampa to play our sport; but for 15 years we have done exactly that!
The first few years we lugged three kids and made day trips to all the wonderful (insert sarcasm) theme parks, and marine life facilities (long before the scandals of how these magnificent beasts were actually being treated hit!). We even did a year with our grandson and two daughters, that was really fun (more sarcasm!).
The past couple of years we have had the luxury of traveling alone! For two people who are always busy, and always busting our business asses, working on improving our home, or doing something with or for our family; those two weeks are pure heaven!
Beyond the release of our seemingly endless day to day responsibilities, there are palm trees and sunshine ... sunshine being the most appreciated benefit after this unending Canadian winter!
We get to just be, there are no chores; unless you count making sure that we each have sunscreen on our backs! Lifestyle differences are minimal in travelling to Florida, anything we could find at home is usually easily found on the Gulf; and honestly after all these years at the same resort, we truly feel it's a home away from home!
The last couple of days before heading out on vacation are usually the worst ... I mean mentally I am already gone! Physically there is a to do list a mile long to make 'my life' easy for my amazing daughter to take care of in my absence!
My life is primarily about At Home - three horses, two cats and two dogs ... everything else is material and honestly whether the floors get vacuumed daily, or the dishes sit in the sink ... Meh, who cares! Except if she is actually reading this, then it is of the utmost importance that she maintain my daily routine to the letter ;)
Seriously though, keep my animals happy for a couple weeks and I will love on them ferociously when I get home!
Used to be I spent outrageous amounts of time fretting, creating lists that detailed everything down to how to latch stall doors to ensure that no one escaped in the night! For days leading up to my departure I was consumed with anxiety and was operating off at least half a dozen lists at any time ... I was convince beyond a reasonable doubt that absolutely no body could do what I do, and catastrophe was sure to ensue!
Today I have been ultra relaxed about these final days, I am so beyond ready for this break from routine! The past 8 weeks have been rocked and riddled with online learning platforms, family struggles and a winter that won't just go home ... I'm tired, and I'm so settled into this new mindset that I have been working on, that I am unphased by potential issues that may arise; and I am trusting that everything will work out exactly as it should.
Of course I have planned and prepared, but there are things that I can now accept are out of my control (a huge and life changing ah-ha moment), and I'm okay, we will get through those things if they arrive ... one of the greatest gifts I have taken away from my B-school training is this ... everything if 'figureoutable'!
Everything is Figureoutable!
It's ridiculously simple, and in its simplicity is such a raw truth!
Whether I go away and spend two weeks worrying incessantly, or relax and rejuvenate; I will come home to my life and pick up where ever I left off... so why waste this precious time in fear?
So often in life we spend so much time and energy worrying about things, things we can not control, things that really have no likelihood of happening, and things that are robbing us of our joy! I am blessed with the option of travel, sun, sand and rest; I fully intend to make the most of every moment!
If you struggle with worry, get stuck in fear, and know in your heart that you are robbing yourself of joy; here's an exercise that I started doing a few years back to get up in fears face..try this!
1. Write down that fear that's got you stuck, I mean really dig into the details of what you are afraid of, how you think it will happen, and the impact you anticipate it having on your life!
2. Now, write down the 'facts' that support this event actually happening, the real information that you have that supports your fears being realized and validates your concerns ... and be honest here, be real and 'that's how it happened last time' is not real and valid proof; it is most certainly still an assumption!
3. Now brainstorm what you will do in the aftermath of this event happening (keep in mind that everything you are writing is hypothetical, the events haven't happened you dreamed them up - so if you can dream up a problem, then you can dream up a solution) ... how do you fix, minimize damage, clean up, deal with and move on from this event? Everything is figureoutable, even when we think it is the absolute worst thing that could happen to us; there is a way forward! Write about your way forward here!
By the time I get to this stage I'm no longer fearful, I'm checking in with reality on two levels, one I recognize that I am in my head with imaginary problems that I created, and two I can totally get through the worst case scenario ... carry on!
We are only stuck if we stand still, move into fear and watch it dissipate!
The minute you take action, or challenge fear, it backs down!
What I am learning in this mindful living practice is the only guarantee, is this moment - right now, and I will be damned if I am going to spend it miserable, or afraid ... and now I really need to get packing, all this chill mindset and 'I got this' swagga isn't going to be grateful I got a blog post done if I don't have my bags packed in time to leave ;)
Step into it, everything is figureoutable!
The first few years we lugged three kids and made day trips to all the wonderful (insert sarcasm) theme parks, and marine life facilities (long before the scandals of how these magnificent beasts were actually being treated hit!). We even did a year with our grandson and two daughters, that was really fun (more sarcasm!).
Beyond the release of our seemingly endless day to day responsibilities, there are palm trees and sunshine ... sunshine being the most appreciated benefit after this unending Canadian winter!
We get to just be, there are no chores; unless you count making sure that we each have sunscreen on our backs! Lifestyle differences are minimal in travelling to Florida, anything we could find at home is usually easily found on the Gulf; and honestly after all these years at the same resort, we truly feel it's a home away from home!
The last couple of days before heading out on vacation are usually the worst ... I mean mentally I am already gone! Physically there is a to do list a mile long to make 'my life' easy for my amazing daughter to take care of in my absence!
My life is primarily about At Home - three horses, two cats and two dogs ... everything else is material and honestly whether the floors get vacuumed daily, or the dishes sit in the sink ... Meh, who cares! Except if she is actually reading this, then it is of the utmost importance that she maintain my daily routine to the letter ;)
Seriously though, keep my animals happy for a couple weeks and I will love on them ferociously when I get home!
Used to be I spent outrageous amounts of time fretting, creating lists that detailed everything down to how to latch stall doors to ensure that no one escaped in the night! For days leading up to my departure I was consumed with anxiety and was operating off at least half a dozen lists at any time ... I was convince beyond a reasonable doubt that absolutely no body could do what I do, and catastrophe was sure to ensue!
Today I have been ultra relaxed about these final days, I am so beyond ready for this break from routine! The past 8 weeks have been rocked and riddled with online learning platforms, family struggles and a winter that won't just go home ... I'm tired, and I'm so settled into this new mindset that I have been working on, that I am unphased by potential issues that may arise; and I am trusting that everything will work out exactly as it should.
Of course I have planned and prepared, but there are things that I can now accept are out of my control (a huge and life changing ah-ha moment), and I'm okay, we will get through those things if they arrive ... one of the greatest gifts I have taken away from my B-school training is this ... everything if 'figureoutable'!
Everything is Figureoutable!
It's ridiculously simple, and in its simplicity is such a raw truth!
Whether I go away and spend two weeks worrying incessantly, or relax and rejuvenate; I will come home to my life and pick up where ever I left off... so why waste this precious time in fear?
So often in life we spend so much time and energy worrying about things, things we can not control, things that really have no likelihood of happening, and things that are robbing us of our joy! I am blessed with the option of travel, sun, sand and rest; I fully intend to make the most of every moment!
If you struggle with worry, get stuck in fear, and know in your heart that you are robbing yourself of joy; here's an exercise that I started doing a few years back to get up in fears face..try this!
1. Write down that fear that's got you stuck, I mean really dig into the details of what you are afraid of, how you think it will happen, and the impact you anticipate it having on your life!
2. Now, write down the 'facts' that support this event actually happening, the real information that you have that supports your fears being realized and validates your concerns ... and be honest here, be real and 'that's how it happened last time' is not real and valid proof; it is most certainly still an assumption!
3. Now brainstorm what you will do in the aftermath of this event happening (keep in mind that everything you are writing is hypothetical, the events haven't happened you dreamed them up - so if you can dream up a problem, then you can dream up a solution) ... how do you fix, minimize damage, clean up, deal with and move on from this event? Everything is figureoutable, even when we think it is the absolute worst thing that could happen to us; there is a way forward! Write about your way forward here!
By the time I get to this stage I'm no longer fearful, I'm checking in with reality on two levels, one I recognize that I am in my head with imaginary problems that I created, and two I can totally get through the worst case scenario ... carry on!
We are only stuck if we stand still, move into fear and watch it dissipate!
The minute you take action, or challenge fear, it backs down!
What I am learning in this mindful living practice is the only guarantee, is this moment - right now, and I will be damned if I am going to spend it miserable, or afraid ... and now I really need to get packing, all this chill mindset and 'I got this' swagga isn't going to be grateful I got a blog post done if I don't have my bags packed in time to leave ;)
Step into it, everything is figureoutable!
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