Check your Connections

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Brene Brown

Connection taken a step further, for me, would include 'in person' ... although I also recognize that that speaks more to my generation, than the actual feeling of being connected! 

Aging myself, yet again!

We are certainly more connected that ever before in history; and yet more and more people feel alone, anxious, and yes ... depressed!  I just picked up a new book by Jean Twenge author of Generation Me; this one is 'iGen'; and speaks to the new generation; who has no recollection of life before the internet, many of them got their own phones before they were 10 (but were babysat by their parents ipad since they were old enough to swipe!) and can navigate social media in much the same way I remember passing notes with precision in class!

It's really interesting, and I am hoping it will help me better understand and relate to my grandson!  My own children fall just outside the edge of this generation and yet I see many of the traits and behaviours in the book, in their lives as well!  Ahh the joy of being connected... wirelessly!

This week a random text from a friend inviting me to coffee set my mind to spinning ... when was the last time that I just randomly met up with a friend to visit, never mind on a Wednesday morning; on any morning?  I came up with nothing, so clearly it's been awhile!

Sitting in the new coffee shop catching up with a friend; who up until a year ago I saw 3-4 times a week; whose life was intertwined with mine, someone who knew my daily struggles, who not only supported me through them, but shared many of them in her own family structure!  Two hours seemed to pass in a blink and as I looked across the table I found answers to struggles that have been very real in my life over the last few weeks!

I was missing connections, I was missing being authentic and letting my guard down ... a place to be vulnerable to speak my truth with not risk judgement, or shame, for being human.


My online persona is real; make no mistake about that! 


I love working out, I love sharing my movement modalities with everyone, hopefully inspiring people to move with purpose everyday! 


I am passionate about nutrition; about making the best choices I possibly can for my health and wellness; and I absolutely love introducing people to my 'real life' methods of fueling and caring for their bodies.

But behind the videos, behind the training, and certifications; I am mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a human being, with all the same struggles everyone else has! 

I realized over coffee that my online existence was only a part of my big picture; and for someone who struggles with 'going public' online; the need for me to get out and have these kind of experiences in my real life, is crucial to my wellbeing!  I remember what face to face connections feel like, I'm that many years old; and for me it's necessary!


I find it so easy to fall into the 'fake news', the 'highlight reel' comparisons,  the 'I have more followers, more certifications, more yoga pants, more beach photos, than you therefore I am more relevant than you', pit on social media. 

To come away from the time you spend online feeling inadequate, frustrated by the bullsh*t, and beating yourself up for not having a daily meditation practice, or eating in a way that comes with a trendy label; it's easy to feel the doom and gloom over the collapse of society when that is all you are exposed to ... if this is how your experience is making you feel, clean it up!

This passed week I have cleaned up my online experience, I am actively using the delete, unfollow, leave group and hide buttons!  I have unsubscribed to the barrage of email that arrives daily - which sits unopened, and makes me feel anxious that there is just never enough time; or frustrated that joining in on one free webinar is a life sentence to marketing emails about how much I am missed, how much I need to follow up and get the best deal ever on their upcoming program!

I don't ... I really don't.

Connection absolutely can be found in online groups, and with people you have never met before; but don't forget to connect with yourself during it all; be aware of how the experience is making you feel and adjust accordingly!  

Above all, make time to connect in person with the ones who matter in your life; do it for them as much as for yourself!  It's easy to put on 'a face' when you're posting online, to focus only on your 'persona' ... give your whole self a place to shine from time to time and offer that space to the ones you love too... win win!

My outings this week have grounded me, and given me a refresh on my perspective; and a gentle reminder that things are seldom as bad as them seem, and there is always something to be grateful for! 

Happy Friday everyone - for best results; check your connections!

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