Those 6 Days Between Christmas & New Years ...
Stuck somewhere in those 6 days between Christmas and New Years; not sure what day it is, and struggling to get ahead of a flu virus that has been having it's way with our family for the better part of three weeks ... not exactly having fun; but what better time to reflect than when you are wrapped in a cozy blanket with nowhere to be, and all day to get there?
2015 has become a marker of sorts in my New Years planning; 2015 was the year I was pushed over the proverbial edge; I was forced to be real, be honest, and stop pretending I was 'fine'! In my adult life it was the proverbial defining moment; the heartbreaking, gut wrenching invitation to change my life and take responsibility for my own happiness!
I wasn't fine; I was tired!
I had suffered long enough, and it was time I let myself off the hook; I wasn't responsible for everyone else's happiness, I couldn't control their actions, so why should I be held accountable for their consequences? 2015 was when I discovered, and embraced that you can not help someone who doesn't want help; that you can love someone even if you don't agree with their choices; and you can not only survive heartache, you can thrive in spite of it!
Heading into 2016 I had chose the word 'Heal' to mark the year ahead. I took the time to get right with myself; body, mind and soul. I took the time to heal relationships in a healthy way, a mutually respecting way, that met people where they were; but didn't compromise my integrity in where I was.
Honesty was at the heart of everything; without it I couldn't possibly heal ... honestly drained everything from the wounds; honesty peeled back all the armour, all the layers; the old saying 'it has to get worse before it gets better' was never truer in my life, than during this healing!
I dug deep in my gratitude and mindfulness practices; I stopped obsessing about 'outcomes' and just did 'me', with my whole heart and best intentions ... and in that year I found a 'self' that I could love. I was my most authentic, raw and imperfect self in every corner of my life; my mantra opening up to that persona was from the incredibly wise Dr. Seuss - 'those who mind, don't matter; those who matter, don't mind'! There were losses, but they weren't really losses because in the grand scheme of my life - they didn't matter!
Heading into 2016 I was broken, my purpose in that year was to gather the pieces and put myself back together; it was a soft whisper that brought that New Year in; a meek and insecure version of myself that wasn't really sure of anything other than I wanted to feel 'whole', I wanted real 'connection' and I knew I deserved better than what I had accepted as my fate!
What I learned about healing lead me to 'growth' in 2017! 'Growth' came in with so much more confidence and energy than 'Heal' had shown! I had plans, big plans and was so excited to be in this place where I believed I could be, and do, more! I was back in learning mode and looking forward to expand my learning with Yoga Teacher Training, and Reiki Healing, and Thai Massage; all of which I could use to enhance experiences for my clients; but more importantly they all put me in touch with my own healing soul!
Growth came in many forms this past year, and my quest for more became something of an addiction to be honest! Course after course expanding my knowledge, and my personal awareness; the more I learned the more I longed to learn! Growth I have learned isn't just about 'increasing'; it has taught me as much, or more about letting go than I ever imagined! You cant just keep 'adding'; eventually something has to give!
For me something gave a few weeks ago when I was looking into advanced teacher trainings in Thailand, yoga retreats in Costa Rica, and more online courses (lets be clear I have 6 online courses purchased that I haven't even opened up yet - I wasn't kidding when I said it was an addiction of sorts!) It occurred to me that perhaps I should be still for minute, I should let what I have learned marinate into my bones and allow myself to get comfortable in that knowledge before I tried to 'expand' on it?
In those moments; 2018 began to take shape, my desire right now is to root, flourish and create within my growth! I don't need more trainings, I need more practice ... I need to settle into this new self, get comfortable and integrate the knowledge into lifestyle practices; and continue to share from where I am!
One of the pitfalls of aging is a mindset that you need to accomplish more, faster; because you are running out of time! In that sprint to 'more', it's easy to lose sight of the 'now'; regardless of chronological age, time is no ones friend; we have this moment, right now, nothing more is guaranteed!
So my plan for 2018 is to 'create' ... space for my growth to integrate and navigate my life, for my relationships to flourish, for my writing to find it's way, for all of my creative outlets to flow; and for the true purpose of yoga (union of body, mind & soul) to fully take hold in my life! I am giving myself permission to 'just be', to create and live where I am; and fully experience my own transformation!
Several years ago I adopted a life mantra; 'do it on purpose' and my goal for 2018 is to bring purpose to the growth of 2017 for myself, and for everyone who shares my path!
As you make your way through these 6 days between Christmas and New Years I hope you take the time to reflect; in order to know where you are going, you need to be aware of where you've been and where you are right now ... you and only you know your souls desire - you and only you know the path that will take you there - take the time live on purpose - wishing you a blessed and fulfilling 2018!
2015 has become a marker of sorts in my New Years planning; 2015 was the year I was pushed over the proverbial edge; I was forced to be real, be honest, and stop pretending I was 'fine'! In my adult life it was the proverbial defining moment; the heartbreaking, gut wrenching invitation to change my life and take responsibility for my own happiness!
I wasn't fine; I was tired!
I had suffered long enough, and it was time I let myself off the hook; I wasn't responsible for everyone else's happiness, I couldn't control their actions, so why should I be held accountable for their consequences? 2015 was when I discovered, and embraced that you can not help someone who doesn't want help; that you can love someone even if you don't agree with their choices; and you can not only survive heartache, you can thrive in spite of it!
Heading into 2016 I had chose the word 'Heal' to mark the year ahead. I took the time to get right with myself; body, mind and soul. I took the time to heal relationships in a healthy way, a mutually respecting way, that met people where they were; but didn't compromise my integrity in where I was.
Honesty was at the heart of everything; without it I couldn't possibly heal ... honestly drained everything from the wounds; honesty peeled back all the armour, all the layers; the old saying 'it has to get worse before it gets better' was never truer in my life, than during this healing!
I dug deep in my gratitude and mindfulness practices; I stopped obsessing about 'outcomes' and just did 'me', with my whole heart and best intentions ... and in that year I found a 'self' that I could love. I was my most authentic, raw and imperfect self in every corner of my life; my mantra opening up to that persona was from the incredibly wise Dr. Seuss - 'those who mind, don't matter; those who matter, don't mind'! There were losses, but they weren't really losses because in the grand scheme of my life - they didn't matter!
Heading into 2016 I was broken, my purpose in that year was to gather the pieces and put myself back together; it was a soft whisper that brought that New Year in; a meek and insecure version of myself that wasn't really sure of anything other than I wanted to feel 'whole', I wanted real 'connection' and I knew I deserved better than what I had accepted as my fate!
What I learned about healing lead me to 'growth' in 2017! 'Growth' came in with so much more confidence and energy than 'Heal' had shown! I had plans, big plans and was so excited to be in this place where I believed I could be, and do, more! I was back in learning mode and looking forward to expand my learning with Yoga Teacher Training, and Reiki Healing, and Thai Massage; all of which I could use to enhance experiences for my clients; but more importantly they all put me in touch with my own healing soul!
Growth came in many forms this past year, and my quest for more became something of an addiction to be honest! Course after course expanding my knowledge, and my personal awareness; the more I learned the more I longed to learn! Growth I have learned isn't just about 'increasing'; it has taught me as much, or more about letting go than I ever imagined! You cant just keep 'adding'; eventually something has to give!
For me something gave a few weeks ago when I was looking into advanced teacher trainings in Thailand, yoga retreats in Costa Rica, and more online courses (lets be clear I have 6 online courses purchased that I haven't even opened up yet - I wasn't kidding when I said it was an addiction of sorts!) It occurred to me that perhaps I should be still for minute, I should let what I have learned marinate into my bones and allow myself to get comfortable in that knowledge before I tried to 'expand' on it?
In those moments; 2018 began to take shape, my desire right now is to root, flourish and create within my growth! I don't need more trainings, I need more practice ... I need to settle into this new self, get comfortable and integrate the knowledge into lifestyle practices; and continue to share from where I am!
One of the pitfalls of aging is a mindset that you need to accomplish more, faster; because you are running out of time! In that sprint to 'more', it's easy to lose sight of the 'now'; regardless of chronological age, time is no ones friend; we have this moment, right now, nothing more is guaranteed!
So my plan for 2018 is to 'create' ... space for my growth to integrate and navigate my life, for my relationships to flourish, for my writing to find it's way, for all of my creative outlets to flow; and for the true purpose of yoga (union of body, mind & soul) to fully take hold in my life! I am giving myself permission to 'just be', to create and live where I am; and fully experience my own transformation!
Several years ago I adopted a life mantra; 'do it on purpose' and my goal for 2018 is to bring purpose to the growth of 2017 for myself, and for everyone who shares my path!
As you make your way through these 6 days between Christmas and New Years I hope you take the time to reflect; in order to know where you are going, you need to be aware of where you've been and where you are right now ... you and only you know your souls desire - you and only you know the path that will take you there - take the time live on purpose - wishing you a blessed and fulfilling 2018!
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