I don't feel like it...
How much of your daily productivity would get accomplished if you waited until you 'felt' like doing all the things you do? Be honest, would you be able to hold down your current job if you performed tasks when you felt like it? Would your laundry get done if you waited to feel like it? How about the cooking? cleaning? bill paying? workouts? Ya, me too... I don't feel like it!
Here's the thing, I couldn't wait to be an adult, I wanted to be in total control of my life, large and in charge! Looking back it was a trap, I went from being a child in parents home; to having to be a self parenting adult! That's right, it was our parents job to force us to do all the things we didn't want to do - we grow up dreaming of the day we can be on our own, only to discover that now we have to force ourselves to do all those things!
There is a moment every night when I slip into bed, where I think about all the things I didn't get done today, and I set all these great intentions - tomorrow I am getting up early, I'm going to get an early start, stay focussed and get it all done. I drift off to sleep with so much 'feel like it in the morning' going on - it's amazing, until the alarm goes off.. and I don't feel like it! I mean had I known I was this difficult to motivate I would have stayed at home, and let my parents carry on with it!
Day in, day out, we attempt to get ahead in our lives making decisions with our emotions! Being able to do what we 'feel like' is the right of passage to being an adult right? There's a hard truth we learn as adults, we are never going to feel like it... I mean we have flashes of 'wow that's what I am going to do', it may last a wee while; or maybe you're like me and it's the fairy tale you tell yourself to get to sleep at night, but the reality is this... what we feel like is being healthier - not all the prep work, the sacrificed comfort foods, the sweating and dragging yourself to workouts... what we feel like is getting a better job - not the extra training, applications and interviews.... no we don't feel like that!
'Use your head' comes to mind when I think about parental advice... put your feelings aside, and make a decision with your brain! It hasn't been an easy road, and rest assured I am by no means there; but parenting myself has gotten increasingly easier! The older I get the more I have come to grasp that no one is coming to rescue me; no one else really cares if I accomplish my goals, of course my family loves me, and wants me to be happy, that isn't what I'm saying; the reality is they all have their own agendas and selves to parent!
I know I haven't completely grown up because as I was struck with this idea for a blog was the very moment I sat down to finish inputting my book keeping to send to my accountant... as I sat at the computer with the best of intentions to buckle down and get it done I was struck with the urge to put these thoughts into a blog; 'I don't feel like it' spilled all over the accounting, and I have moved that off till tomorrow... not my finest parenting decision, but it isn't my worst either!
I think when you truly arrive at being an adult is when you take on the task of self parenting, when you stop letting yourself off the hook, when you buckle down, and do the hard work; that's where the magic happens! We have goals, and whether they are long term, or short term there is space between where you are, and where you want to be... that space is where all the chores that we are never gonna feel like live; never gonna feel like, not ever! That space is navigated with a healthy dose of parental tough love.
This year my over all commitment to myself was 'growth'. I set goals to expand my training, to expand my creative ventures, to expand my business, to grow my relationships; all of these things take work, the hard work of learning, being disciplined, opening myself up and being vulnerable... on any given day I can assure you working hard, and leaving myself vulnerable, are not high on the list of things 'I feel like'! But I do it anyway, and you can too!
I read once that everything we need lies within us; and I believe that to be true; we may not have all the information, skills, experience and knowledge necessary to create the life we want; but we have our inner parent to give us the proverbial kick in the butt to get out there and get those things! So when you're all done whining about not feeling like it, you can take the reins, lean in; and get on with your grown up self! To quote my parents 'You're burning day light, get going!'
Here's the thing, I couldn't wait to be an adult, I wanted to be in total control of my life, large and in charge! Looking back it was a trap, I went from being a child in parents home; to having to be a self parenting adult! That's right, it was our parents job to force us to do all the things we didn't want to do - we grow up dreaming of the day we can be on our own, only to discover that now we have to force ourselves to do all those things!
There is a moment every night when I slip into bed, where I think about all the things I didn't get done today, and I set all these great intentions - tomorrow I am getting up early, I'm going to get an early start, stay focussed and get it all done. I drift off to sleep with so much 'feel like it in the morning' going on - it's amazing, until the alarm goes off.. and I don't feel like it! I mean had I known I was this difficult to motivate I would have stayed at home, and let my parents carry on with it!
Day in, day out, we attempt to get ahead in our lives making decisions with our emotions! Being able to do what we 'feel like' is the right of passage to being an adult right? There's a hard truth we learn as adults, we are never going to feel like it... I mean we have flashes of 'wow that's what I am going to do', it may last a wee while; or maybe you're like me and it's the fairy tale you tell yourself to get to sleep at night, but the reality is this... what we feel like is being healthier - not all the prep work, the sacrificed comfort foods, the sweating and dragging yourself to workouts... what we feel like is getting a better job - not the extra training, applications and interviews.... no we don't feel like that!'Use your head' comes to mind when I think about parental advice... put your feelings aside, and make a decision with your brain! It hasn't been an easy road, and rest assured I am by no means there; but parenting myself has gotten increasingly easier! The older I get the more I have come to grasp that no one is coming to rescue me; no one else really cares if I accomplish my goals, of course my family loves me, and wants me to be happy, that isn't what I'm saying; the reality is they all have their own agendas and selves to parent!
I know I haven't completely grown up because as I was struck with this idea for a blog was the very moment I sat down to finish inputting my book keeping to send to my accountant... as I sat at the computer with the best of intentions to buckle down and get it done I was struck with the urge to put these thoughts into a blog; 'I don't feel like it' spilled all over the accounting, and I have moved that off till tomorrow... not my finest parenting decision, but it isn't my worst either!
I think when you truly arrive at being an adult is when you take on the task of self parenting, when you stop letting yourself off the hook, when you buckle down, and do the hard work; that's where the magic happens! We have goals, and whether they are long term, or short term there is space between where you are, and where you want to be... that space is where all the chores that we are never gonna feel like live; never gonna feel like, not ever! That space is navigated with a healthy dose of parental tough love.This year my over all commitment to myself was 'growth'. I set goals to expand my training, to expand my creative ventures, to expand my business, to grow my relationships; all of these things take work, the hard work of learning, being disciplined, opening myself up and being vulnerable... on any given day I can assure you working hard, and leaving myself vulnerable, are not high on the list of things 'I feel like'! But I do it anyway, and you can too!
I read once that everything we need lies within us; and I believe that to be true; we may not have all the information, skills, experience and knowledge necessary to create the life we want; but we have our inner parent to give us the proverbial kick in the butt to get out there and get those things! So when you're all done whining about not feeling like it, you can take the reins, lean in; and get on with your grown up self! To quote my parents 'You're burning day light, get going!'
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