Rest, Reflect & Reaffirm .... Be!
Hunkered down in a hotel for a couple days is my idea of the perfect ending to being 52!
My 53 birthday is tomorrow; I have never been big on celebrating birthdays - not because I fret about them so much as I really just struggle with the attention (receiving isn't my best event - I'm much happier in a giving role!)
I hitched myself to my husband's conference in Toronto and am enjoying three days of rest, reflect and reaffirming while he is off at his meetings and my amazing daughter is at home looking after my life!
Our room was upgraded to a corner suite that offers lots of space for my yoga mat and wrap around windows overlooking the harbour ... it's perfect - if perfect were a thing!
Removing ourselves from our daily grind isn't always an option; I know just how fortunate I am to have this time - and I am making exceptionally good use of it!
My morning included my yoga and meditation practice as the sun rose over the harbour through the wrap around windows, a delicious breakfast delivered to my room, coffee watching the boats in the harbour and some long overdue time collecting my 'wants & needs' surrounding the addition we are planning to our home, my business moving forward and what being 53 is going to look like!
The ability to just focus on one thing at a time... beyond epic!
I don't have to keep breaking to bring in firewood, let the dogs out, change the laundry, feed the horses, meal prep, or any of the usual distractions in my life ... I can just be, in this space, in these moments, with my dreams!
Wowzers what a gift!
What is ironic in this 'stepping out of my life to find peace', is that it is the exact opposite of what I have been trying to create At Home!
I want At Home to be a life we don't need a vacation from ... and for a hot minute while I was getting ready to come on this mini staycation I was worried about why I was so excited for time away from my life!
Then I thought about the last 6 months ... holy shit storm of emotional chaos and physical destruction!
I mean family issues coming to a head, a Christmas that no one really wanted but had to do anyway, and a flooded out basement ... it felt a little like life as I knew it was washed out and since December 18th I have been on a rebuild mission - emotionally, physically and yes, even spiritually!
You can't go through that much change and upheaval without feeling the shifts in your core being!
The letting go, the integration of emotions, and rebuilding of our physical space has taken a toll, and I am not even trying to hide, or deny that it wiped me out!
The beauty of where I am in all of this 'personal growth & spiritual awareness' work I do; is that my ability to rise stronger is on point! Yes I fell to my knees, I sat in the dust and I let myself feel all the pain, frustration, disappointment, and loss ... then I figured out how to get the hell off my ass and be better for it!
How do you do that?
You rest, you let yourself be in all those uncomfortable and painful emotions, cry, scream, whatever you need to do - there is no time limit here, but I will say this ... don't wallow! Don't overthink those emotions, just feel them - you don't have to make sense of them all, just feel them - let yourself be still in them, healing happens when we rest!
In the stillness you can set things down; take rest from all you're carrying - the emotions become infinitely lighter when you allow them to pass through you; let go of what you can and integrate what you need moving forward - the load is lightened and the burden shifted!
You reflect, looking back on everything that happened, what role you played in it going off course, what you can change to prevent it happening again, looking for the lessons is a big part of the healing process ... lessons are found in reflection!
Key thing here is don't look back for blame assignments, it isn't about pinning anything on anyone or yourself; it is about understanding what happened; purely for the sake of making different choices moving forward - turn on your observer here!
Keep in mind you can't change what happened; you can only change the way you let it impact you moving forward! The past is unchangeable ... no amount of reflection, overthinking, or wishful thinking will change what happened ... ever!
You reaffirm, when it's all said and done; you work through the emotions, you reflect for lessons and changes moving forward, the final piece is to reaffirm how you're moving forward!
You see; our experiences change us, if they are big enough they can shift the entire trajectory of our lives! When your gaze shifts back from reflection to forward you need to decide if you're still heading in the same direction now that you have reconciled!
There have been experiences in my life that when processed, have revealed an entirely new path for me; I liked to think of it as leveling up in my life!
There was a lot of that in my life, for a lot of years; but over the last 5 years my personal experiences haven't really shifted me from the goals I have, they have deepened my resolve and clarified my progress paths ... so while I know the work is painful; I also know that on the other side of the darkness I am more whole in my Self!
The most important thing at the end of the process is to allow yourself the space to 'just be'!
If there is one thing that my 53 years of experience has taught me; it's that this moment is your only guarantee; savour it, but don't get attached to it ... your entire purpose in this moment, is to just be in it ... with your whole Self and your whole Heart! xo
My 53 birthday is tomorrow; I have never been big on celebrating birthdays - not because I fret about them so much as I really just struggle with the attention (receiving isn't my best event - I'm much happier in a giving role!)
I hitched myself to my husband's conference in Toronto and am enjoying three days of rest, reflect and reaffirming while he is off at his meetings and my amazing daughter is at home looking after my life!
Our room was upgraded to a corner suite that offers lots of space for my yoga mat and wrap around windows overlooking the harbour ... it's perfect - if perfect were a thing!
Removing ourselves from our daily grind isn't always an option; I know just how fortunate I am to have this time - and I am making exceptionally good use of it!
My morning included my yoga and meditation practice as the sun rose over the harbour through the wrap around windows, a delicious breakfast delivered to my room, coffee watching the boats in the harbour and some long overdue time collecting my 'wants & needs' surrounding the addition we are planning to our home, my business moving forward and what being 53 is going to look like!
The ability to just focus on one thing at a time... beyond epic!
I don't have to keep breaking to bring in firewood, let the dogs out, change the laundry, feed the horses, meal prep, or any of the usual distractions in my life ... I can just be, in this space, in these moments, with my dreams!
Wowzers what a gift!
What is ironic in this 'stepping out of my life to find peace', is that it is the exact opposite of what I have been trying to create At Home!
I want At Home to be a life we don't need a vacation from ... and for a hot minute while I was getting ready to come on this mini staycation I was worried about why I was so excited for time away from my life!
Then I thought about the last 6 months ... holy shit storm of emotional chaos and physical destruction!
I mean family issues coming to a head, a Christmas that no one really wanted but had to do anyway, and a flooded out basement ... it felt a little like life as I knew it was washed out and since December 18th I have been on a rebuild mission - emotionally, physically and yes, even spiritually!
You can't go through that much change and upheaval without feeling the shifts in your core being!
The letting go, the integration of emotions, and rebuilding of our physical space has taken a toll, and I am not even trying to hide, or deny that it wiped me out!
The beauty of where I am in all of this 'personal growth & spiritual awareness' work I do; is that my ability to rise stronger is on point! Yes I fell to my knees, I sat in the dust and I let myself feel all the pain, frustration, disappointment, and loss ... then I figured out how to get the hell off my ass and be better for it!
How do you do that?
You rest, you let yourself be in all those uncomfortable and painful emotions, cry, scream, whatever you need to do - there is no time limit here, but I will say this ... don't wallow! Don't overthink those emotions, just feel them - you don't have to make sense of them all, just feel them - let yourself be still in them, healing happens when we rest!
In the stillness you can set things down; take rest from all you're carrying - the emotions become infinitely lighter when you allow them to pass through you; let go of what you can and integrate what you need moving forward - the load is lightened and the burden shifted!
You reflect, looking back on everything that happened, what role you played in it going off course, what you can change to prevent it happening again, looking for the lessons is a big part of the healing process ... lessons are found in reflection!
Key thing here is don't look back for blame assignments, it isn't about pinning anything on anyone or yourself; it is about understanding what happened; purely for the sake of making different choices moving forward - turn on your observer here!
Keep in mind you can't change what happened; you can only change the way you let it impact you moving forward! The past is unchangeable ... no amount of reflection, overthinking, or wishful thinking will change what happened ... ever!
You reaffirm, when it's all said and done; you work through the emotions, you reflect for lessons and changes moving forward, the final piece is to reaffirm how you're moving forward!
You see; our experiences change us, if they are big enough they can shift the entire trajectory of our lives! When your gaze shifts back from reflection to forward you need to decide if you're still heading in the same direction now that you have reconciled!
There have been experiences in my life that when processed, have revealed an entirely new path for me; I liked to think of it as leveling up in my life!
There was a lot of that in my life, for a lot of years; but over the last 5 years my personal experiences haven't really shifted me from the goals I have, they have deepened my resolve and clarified my progress paths ... so while I know the work is painful; I also know that on the other side of the darkness I am more whole in my Self!
The most important thing at the end of the process is to allow yourself the space to 'just be'!
If there is one thing that my 53 years of experience has taught me; it's that this moment is your only guarantee; savour it, but don't get attached to it ... your entire purpose in this moment, is to just be in it ... with your whole Self and your whole Heart! xo
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