The big lie... and how to spot it!

Have you ever notice when you hear the word 'lie' you lean in a little closer, because you don't want to miss a minute of the exposure of the truth?  The truth we all value so much, and are often so quick to question in those closest to us; but when a celebrity, or someone we look to as an inspiration says something, we eat that shit up!

Marketing... love it or hate it; we are inundated with it every day!  It doesn't go away when the commercial ends, or you scroll past it; on no, not a chance!  Our brains are all about stories and connections; it needs to process, and make associations!  We see an ad with a perfect body, wearing a  giant smile, taking a supplement and our brain connects the dots.. these are all the things I need to be happy, and have a perfect body!  Here you thought it was some complicated process!

All this marketing, all these internal connections create a big space between our reality, and our perception of where happiness and perfection is!  That space leaves us feeling 'less than', hopeless, and in desperate need of whatever they are selling because that is going to fix everything!

It happens automatically, the key to keeping it real is curiosity ... ask yourself, really?  Can you picture yourself doing, eating, wearing the things these ads are suggesting?  Do you see yourself being forever happy because you have the stunning ear rings the swim suit model was wearing?

Yesterday I found myself reading an article from a respected doctor whose work I admire, and whose advice on balancing hormones has been quite helpful as I deal with menopause, and the inherit drag of aging.  The article wasn't her usual fare, it was offering a whole slew of 'supplements' all natural of course, each with a link to said doctors 'supplier' of choice for your convenient impulse buying needs.

Ten years into this health and wellness gig I have acquired a real distain for this kind of stuff; but hey lets play the game!  I looked up each and everyone one of the supplements she was recommending to help with everything from skin losing it's elasticity, to the weight settling on the stomach and hips of women over 50 ... and what I found was a lot of inconclusive research on any of these supplements doing any of what she said, further more; there were nasty side effects, and risks associated with all of them; not one of them could offer a recommended daily dose, and everyone of them came with the warning not to use without consulting your physician.  Hmmmm....

Marketing is designed to convince you of what your happiness looks like - by presenting itself as the 'only option' and by feeding your fears of being left behind!  Look at all these people in the ads, all these people we look up to for inspiration on instagram, in the movies, on facebook - shiny happy people!  If they are taking this supplement, or doing that workout, or wearing those clothes, or driving that car; then that is what I need to be happy!

Wait... what?  There it is, the big lie! 

Happiness isn't a person, or a thing, it isn't a specific brand of workout wear or vehicle... it's a feeling, an emotion; and the last time I checked there isn't an app, or a purchase option for happiness!  So why are we all chasing this stuff?

I follow a lot of inspirational people, fitness professionals, fellow pole enthusiasts, yogi's of all sorts, and tonnes of motivational speakers - why?  Each of them offers a different perspective to what I do, their ideas and philosophies can often time enhance, or offer new ideas to help me in the work I do with my clients. 

It's quite amazing when I find these people, they are often just starting out - posting cool pics, spilling their guts about the hard work they are doing to build themselves, they do brave and outrageous things to build their followings... and when they get those followers, when they reach that level of success; they start attaching to the highest bidder!  This is a broad statement and I know there are celebrities who carefully align themselves with things they personally use and love; but there are even more who do not!

What does that mean for them?  A higher income!  They can use their followings (me and you) to offer products a marketing platform.  The more followers they have the greater the sales potential, oh but hey I don't buy anything from them you might be thinking... doesn't matter they are getting paid just because you're there as an option!

What does that mean for you?  You are being bombarded with the next best thing, the images of that person you look to for inspiration and guidance is taking supplements, wearing a certain brand of workout wear and driving a 'sure to make you happy' vehicle.  It's a mental drain as you are subconsciously flooded with all the ways your life is lacking; and all the things you need to be happy... like them.

Like them... the next big lie!

Call me cynical, but I would venture a guess that more than 75% of what is attached to the people we admire, and aspire to be like, doesn't make it's way out of the photo ops they share with you.  That's not to say they aren't driving the car, hell who wouldn't drive a free car!  Our purchases in the name of being 'like them' don't make us like them!  Just because you are driving the same car as Beyoncé doesn't make you Beyoncé!

Furthermore when push comes to shove, and you really dig deep, you don't want to be 'like' them anyway!  What you're actually looking for is a little happiness, a little shiny happy people moment for yourself!

We have all wanted something that we are so incredible certain would make us happy, only to discover that happiness was fleeting, and that shiny feeling wore off pretty quick! 

So how do you know, what do you trust about what you want, or need to be happy?  Yourself... trust your gut ... get curious, ask questions, and be honest with yourself!  Hint, it isn't a person, place, or thing!  Dig into your feelings! 

Start checking in with yourself, figure out what parts of your life are filling your tank; figure out what's draining you!  The answers to your personal happiness aren't on a billboard, or attached to a fabulous marketing scheme; they are conveniently all around you every day!  You just have to ask the questions, and find your truth! 

You need to check into your life, be present in what you do every day, start with 'why'... why do I think that would make me happy? ... Why aren't I happy with my job/relationship/weight?... why don't I make those changes?

Why?





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